This post is not about Rose. It's about Calvin. Ha! Fake out!
Specifically, let's talk about the names Calvin comes up with for his stuffed animals. Calvin, bless his little heart, is terrible at naming. The only animal he did not name is the infamous Joe which, if you will recall, I rewarded his sisters with the privilege of naming in exchange for me not having to name my only son after one of the stupid Blue's Clues dudes, Steve and Joe.
And since Calvin LOVED that dog, I bought many in case the original Joe was lost, only to find out that Calvin's extra Spidey sense enabled him to note differences that were indiscernible to the rest of us. However, I was under strict instructions to never get rid of those other dogs, all of who were subsequently named (by Calvin) Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, and Joe. Are you sensing a pattern yet? Not the most creative namer, my boy. To help us tell them apart, the Joes started acquiring descriptive adjectives such as Stinky Joe, Not-so-Stinky Joe, Fluffy Joe, Brown Joe, Spotty Joe, and Big Fluffy Joe. But in the end, they're all still Joe.
The girls get very disgusted with him because they like to come up with distinctive names for their pets. For example, Sabrina named her cactus Phelton, and Rose has a dog named Buford.
But not Calvin. When he gets a dog that is not Joe, he calls it Doggie. He got a cat and named it Kitty. He's also got Beary, Crabby, Snakey, Eegy (the eagle), and so on and so forth, ad nauseam.
And then he got a turtle, and we waited with baited breath. Would he do it? Yes, he would! He named it . . . Turtie. Have you said it out loud yet? Come on, try it. Turtie the Turtle. The girls start running around the house yelling, "Calvin's got a turdy. Calvin's got a turdy." And Calvin's screaming, "No, it's Tur-TEE, not Tur-DEE!" He comes crying to me, but I'm no help at all, because I'm on the floor laughing with the girls that Calvin's got a turdy.
I think Calvin would disagree with Shakespeare. A rose by any other name is not as sweet.
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