He only looks cherubic.

Calvin: Dad, did you know there are people who can't read a clock?

David: Yes, I am aware of this fact.

C: Some of the kids in my class can't read the clock in our room. One kid who sits next to me is always asking me the time. "What time is it? Is it time for recess? When's lunch? " It gets pretty annoying.

D: So what do you do?

C: Well, I tell them the time, but I don't give them the right time.

D: What?

C: Yeah. If they say, "What time is it? Is lunch soon?" I'll look at the clock. It may be only 20 minutes away, but I will tell them it's not for two hours. Then they say, "Oh, man," and look really disappointed.

D: If you want them to stop asking you the time, why wouldn't you just teach them how to read a clock?

C: Because this is much more fun.

A tree hijacked my day.

I had a great day planned -- bike ride, trip to the mall with my girls, reading a book,  and generally enjoying a relaxing vacation day. I got up and asked the girls to go on a bike ride with me. They both said no, but were persuaded when I threw in a stop at Starbucks. Things were going swimmingly (or bikingly).

See how much fun we're having?

Things fell apart on the way home. The girls were zooming ahead. I was trying to keep up, but failing miserably. I had my head down, huffing and puffing, and the next time I looked up, I saw this:

Well, I saw this plus Rose in a heap.

By the time I got there, Rose was back up on her feet and saying, "I'm okay. I'm okay." She showed me her scrapes. Then, she said, "I think I will lay down now." And she went to the grass next to the sidewalk and proceeded to just lie there looking up at the sky. We were still a good three-quarters of a mile from our house. Not knowing what else to do, I made her get up and ride home.

After we got home, I called David to walk me through cleaning her up since I am incompetent in this area. (I'm positive it was in our wedding vows that David was to take care of all scrapes, accidents, and blood.)

First, I cleaned up this.

And then this.

And finally this.

To keep her distracted while I was cleaning, I asked her how the accident happened. Rose said she zoned out for a second, and the next thing she knew her handlebars hit the tree, which knocked her front wheel 90 degrees, and she fell. Honestly, my first thought was, "This girl should never be allowed to drive a car."

After she had bandages on all her booboos, I noticed that she was holding her arm funny. She couldn't bend it or straighten it very far. Getting her shirt back on was a challenge. And the girl who never cries was close to tears when we were done. I canceled all our plans and called the doctor, who got us in immediately.

Waiting.

The doctor examined her arm and said he thought it was badly bruised, but he was concerned that she had limited range of motion. He sent us to get x-rays.

And he gave her a sling.

More waiting. Thank goodness I remembered to bring my iPad.

Getting the x-rays.

The x-ray technician asked Rose how she hurt her arm. Rose said, "Well, my bike and I had some hand-to-hand combat with a tree. The tree won."

Results: Looks like a fracture and we are set to see the orthopedist tomorrow.

Don't you just want to give him big, fat hug?

My 10-year-old son Calvin came home the other day with an announcement. "I need to buy a birthday gift for a friend." I had a quick moment of panic as I couldn't remember any party being on the calendar.

Me: Who's birthday is it?

C: Rachel's.

Me: Were you invited to a party, and you just didn't show me the invitation?

C: No, I just know her birthday is during spring break, and I wanted to get her a gift.

Me: How did you know it was her birthday?

C: She told me, and then I wrote it down in my planner.

Grandma: Do you know what she would like?

C: Yes, I have a list. (Pulls it out of his pocket.)

Grandma: How'd you get the list?

C: I asked her best friend.

Wow.  All I can say is there is someone out there who is going to be a very lucky girl someday.

Morning Glory

This morning was busy as usual. Everyone was scrambling to get out door, everybody except Calvin who was calmly sitting at the dining room table.

David: Good morning, Calvin.

Calvin: Good morning, Dad.

D: Are you not going to school?

C: No, I'm going to school. Why?

D: Well, you might want to change out of your pajama pants, then.

C: Oh! I completely forgot. (Jumps up and runs to his room.)

D: (shouting up the stairs) Changing shirts to one that doesn't advertise beer would be a good idea, too!

Calvin came back downstairs in school-appropriate attire. He grabbed his backpack and started to go out to the car.

Me: Um, Calvin?

C: Yes?

Me: Where are your shoes?

C: Oh, shoot!

A few minutes later in the car.

Sabrina: Calvin, why are you putting on my shoes?

C: Darn it!!

Not a stellar morning for my boy. I told him not to worry. It still doesn't hold a candle to the day that Rose left the house wearing a shirt and her chaps . . . and no pants.

There are days I can't help but love my job.

Admit it. Your heart just melted a little bit, too.

One of the many reasons I love my job . . .

While doing a unit review with one of my classes, there was one kid who kept blurting out the answers, even when someone else had been called upon to answer. While I appreciated his enthusiasm, I had to ask him more than once if he could please refrain from yelling out the answers and let some other kids have a turn. Keeping the answers to himself, however, did not seem to be in his skill set today, so I finally turned to him and jokingly said, "If you don't stop answering when it's not your turn, I will have to bring my duct tape next lesson." His reply was to stick his hand in his desk, pull out a roll of blue painter's tape and say with a smile, "I've got it covered, Mrs. George!"