My suspicions were confirmed when my brothers and my husband all took the "Which Star Wars Character Are You?" Every one of them came up as Darth Vader. Since you couldn't find three more different people on the planet, the quiz was obviously rigged to always answer Darth Vader. I mean, I could possibly see one of my brothers as Darth Vader, but the other one could only be Jar Jar Binks.
And if anyone was Darth Vader, it would obviously be me with my death glares, cutting remarks, and general dislike for people. And yes, for those of you wondering, I, too, took the quiz. It was purely for scientific purposes, of course. By that point, I was curious to see if I would also be Darth Vader. Apparently, however, girls are limited to Leia. No crushing people with the significant power of the Force for me.
My problem is that, stupid as these quizzes are, they're a good avoidance technique. Got work to do? No problem, take a quiz. Trying to avoid your children? Take a quiz. Laundry to do, bills to pay, toilets to clean? You got it, take a quiz.
I thought I'd try "What type of learner are you?" I've read "The Tipping Point", "Multiple Intelligences", "What Color is Your Parachute", and even, occasionally, the astrology section in the newspaper. I could avoid doing something productive while at the same time indulging my interest in pop psychology. Two birds with one stone.
But I've sunk to new lows. It was not a real quiz but a Hot Pockets quiz-vertisement. I was told my answers meant that I learned many different ways, and both the Whole Wheat Pepperoni Hot Pockets as well as the Cheese Crust Broccoli Hot Pockets would appeal to one such as me. Wow, lucky for me that I learned that. I'll be sure and add that to my resume.
All I could think of was Jim Gaffigan's routine on Hot Pockets, and I went around the house the rest of the night singing "Hot Pockets . . . " Such my life has become.
No comments:
Post a Comment