Stop Touching My Butt

S: Mom, Calvin and Rose were messing with my butt.

Me: Okay, dear.

S: Don't you care?

Me: Not really.

S: Calvin was making his toy dance on my butt, and Rose kicked me.

Me: And?

S: So, are you going to punish them?

Me: Why?

S: Because they TOUCHED MY BUTT!

Me: And I'm sure you had absolutely nothing to do with it.

S: Of course not!

Me: Uh-huh.

S: Moooom!

Me: [Silent stare]

S: I was only sitting on Calvin. I wasn't doing anything.

Later . . .

Me: Did you make your toy dance on Sabrina's butt?

C: She was getting up, and it was just too tempting. [Smirks]

Me: Getting up from where?

C: From on top of me.