Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent, or, More Likely, the Storyteller

Lysol: Ewwww! I can't believe you're doing that! Why? Why? That is so disgusting! STOP THAT! AND MAKE SURE YOU WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

Formula 409: You can stop shouting at me any time now.

Lysol: But did you see what you were doing? GROSS!!! THAT MAKES ME WANT TO BARF!

Formula 409: STOP SHOUTING AT ME!

Father: What's going on here?

Lysol: Dad, Formula 409 is SO GROSS!!

Formula 409: I AM NOT!

Lysol: You were brushing your teeth while you were going to the bathroom!! I can't believe you're related to me.

Father: Lysol, you need to stop being the hygiene police.

Lysol: There have to be standards!! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!

Father: There is no need to shout at Formula 409, or me for that matter.

Lysol: Nobody cares about my feelings.

Father: Your feelings aren't really the issue here. It's more about treating people with respect.

Lysol: Did you see what Formula 409 did?

Father: Yes. But as long as it wasn't your toothbrush Formula 409 was using what do you care?

Lysol: I can't believe you're taking Formula 409's side!

Father: I'm not. I'm just asking you to use the Golden Rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. There's a reason it's called the Golden Rule and not the Rusty Tin Rule. It's because it's a valuable tenet to live by.

Lysol: Well, excuse me. I just happen to care about hygiene.

Father: I can see that by the way you just threw your underwear on the floor of the bathroom. Right there. Isn't that yours?

Lysol: That's totally different!

Father: How?

Lysol: Because there aren't germs in my underwear!


1 comment: