What Happened to Jennifer?

You never know what life's going to throw at you. I was happy, relatively speaking. Granted, my job was mind-numbingly boring. And yes, I was wasting money on shoes no one would ever see since there is really no need to wear sparkly blue heels when you wear your pajamas to work. But I was content . . . sort of. I certainly wasn't out searching for a big change. Change is scary. Change makes my stomach hurt.

But one day this summer, I received a phone call. Would I consider teaching music part-time to upper elementary students? I almost hung up on them, just like my brother (a virulent sports-hater) actually did when Major League Baseball called trying to recruit him to manage their websites. I stayed on the line, probably more out of shock than politeness, and sure enough, they were offering me a job.

What should I do? Up until this exact moment in my life, I had never considered teaching, EVER. Anyone who knows me knows I have steadfastly maintained that I hate children. Good grief, I can barely stand my own. Why would I willingly walk into multiple classrooms filled with dozens of children, none of whom were mine? I repeated this over and over to my husband, but he expressed the opinion that I obviously don't hate children that much considering the number of hours I've spent volunteering in the classroom at my kids' school. I countered that it was my duty, and I have always been a slave to duty. (Said while looking martyr-like and staring off into the distance, Pirates of Penzance music playing in my head.)

But there it was, a legitimate offer of a new job, one that wouldn't bore me to tears, one that would let me interact with the human race, and one in which I might be able to wear those blue sparkly heels. So after some consideration, I decided to jump. When that kind of opportunity lands in your lap, you would have to be a fool to turn it down, even if it does require an anxiety pill or two to cope with all the scary change.

So now I'm a teacher. God sure does have a funny sense of humor. And despite David's protestations to the contrary that he thinks I'm well-suited for this job, I found him chuckling and shaking his head the other evening. When I asked him what he was laughing at, he said, "I was just thinking if someone had told me five years ago that in the future my wife would be a teacher, I would have asked, 'What happened to Jennifer?' followed by, 'Is my new wife hot?'"