Hypothetical Situation Police

The other day David and I were driving somewhere in the car. Somehow the conversation turned to helicopter rides, and it all went downhill from there.

Me: Your mom was talking about how often she reads about tourist helicopters crashing and everyone dying. She said if she has anything to say about it, she will never let us go on one of those rides. That's okay with me. I wouldn't go anyway since helicopters make me sick.

D: How do you know that?

Me: How do I know what?

D: That helicopters make you sick?

Me: That's what you're taking away from this conversation?

D: No, I really want to know. How do you know that helicopters make you sick. Have you secretly gone out and had helicopter rides without my knowledge? Because I'm pretty sure you've never stepped foot in one.

Me: No, I've never had a helicopter ride.

D: Then how do you know helicopters make you sick?

Me: Well, I got really motion sick that one time you made me play the Jane's helicopter simulator on your computer. I think that's a pretty good indicator.

D: You're kidding, right?

Me: And then there's the fact that every form of transportation ever invented makes me sick: cars, trucks, trains, boats, big planes, little planes. I do my part in keeping Dramamine in business.

D: I know that. You'd probably barf up a lung if you rode in a helicopter. But you can't know for sure because you've never been on one.

Me: I think it's a reasonable assumption. And who made you the hypothetical situation police anyway?

D: I just think you should speak more accurately. You saying, "Helicopters make me sick" when you haven't ridden in one is like me saying, "Playing in the World Cup makes my muscles sore," just because I limp around after playing rec league soccer.

Me: That is not a valid comparison at all!

D: Why not?

Me: Because while there is a possibility that sometime in my life I will actually have a helicopter ride, there is no chance you will ever play in a World Cup soccer match.