S: Mom, can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure. What's up?
S: Did you and dad . . . do it . . . to get me?
Me: Do it?
S: You know.
Me: You mean sex?
S: MOM!
Me: Well, yes, of course we did.
S: . . . really?
Me: News flash, honey. Everyone in this world got here because people had sex.
S: MOM!
Me: What?
S: Don't say that word!
Me: Sex?
S: MOM!
Me: Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
S: (hands over ears) Stop it!
Me: Sweetie, you just learned one of life's little lessons.
S: What's that?
Me: You don't ever want to think about your parents having sex --
S: Ewww!
Me: -- and you don't want to think about your children having sex.
S: Mom, please say "doing it."
Me: That's why daddies often have trouble when their daughters come home after they've been married a while and announce they're pregnant. They can no longer ignore the fact that their daughter has, in fact, been having sex.
S: Well, my dad won't have that problem.
Me: Oh, really? Why not?
S: Because I'm adopting.
Me: But don't you plan on getting married someday?
S: Yes. But I'm sure we'll wait three or four years before we think about . . . you know.
Andrew recently referred to S-E-X as "performing the operation." So clinical! He, too, asked "Is that how you and daddy got me?" Yep, kid, that's how it happens.
ReplyDeleteThere were no more questions after that one - he rolled right over and went to sleep.