We're raising a con artist

(At soccer practice)

Kids: Hi, Coach David! Welcome back! How was your trip to the moon?

David: Um . . . great. Thanks for asking.

(a few weeks later)

David: Kids, I just wanted to let you know that I won't be at practice on Thursday or the game on Saturday. But your other coach will be here to take good care of you. I'll see you next week.

Soccer kids: Okay, Coach David. Are you going to the moon again?

David: No, I just got back from the moon three weeks ago, so it'll be while before I go again.

Kids: We'll miss you. Have a good trip.

(Later...)

David: Calvin, do you have any idea why those kids keep asking me me about going to the moon?

Calvin: Maybe.

David: Care to enlighten me?

Calvin: Last time you were on a business trip, my teammates asked me where you were. I said you were an astronaut and taking a trip to the moon.

David: And they bought that?

Calvin: Apparently.

The needle wasn't the only thing that was sharp today.

(guest post from my husband)

Dear BloodSource,

As a long time reasonably-regular whole blood donor, I would like to comment on the on-line rewards program:

I certainly don't donate for the gifts. But there is a nice touch about being handed a little something along with a sincere "thank you" from an engaged employee after they have poked your finger and stuck a big needle in your arm. Or getting a personal acknowledgement when you hit a "big" milestone - 5 pints, 10, 20, whatever.

Having just donated my 19th with BloodSource, I was directed to the rewards site, where I see that I get zero credit for my last however-many-donations in the last few years, but I got 200 points for this one and starting now I can get another T-shirt with just 700 more points.

Great. My donation now earns me a buck or two of credit towards eventually earning a cheap "thank you" gift, which I now have to log in and order myself. As if I needed another errand to do. It's not enough that I take an hour to donate in the first place, and have to skip the gym for a couple days after, now I have to go shop, too?

I feel like someone's not only insultingly trying to incent my donation with a ridiculously small amount of cheap crap, but is actually giving a specific value to my donation of precisely 200 points worth of said cheap crap. If you are trying to enhance the idea that my donation is worth "a lot" in the subjective sense, 200 points on the cheap-crap-scale pretty much  undermines that message. "Yes, You do save lives. Save six more and you can order a coffee mug!" If I save 60 lives, I'll be up to something nice!

Or my donation isn't worth an actual token of thanks from a person, but you'll let me take another half-hour of my time to go on line and order an ice cream certificate if I really want to. "Please, pretty please, won't you take my blood today? I REALLY need a new mouse pad, and I only have three more pints to go!!!"

So I doubt I'll be visiting the rewards site again anytime soon. Don't worry, I still strongly believe in donating blood and I am happy to do so as often as I am able. But I'm not going to go spend a bunch of my time every third donation to check in and order my own $5 thank you gift.

How about this instead: I'll pretend my donation is still worth "a lot" to you, you keep the 200 "reward points", and I'll just take an extra pack of Oreos and a 2nd bottle of water on my way out of the van.

Yours truly,

David George, A-negative

(cynicism is in my blood)